And the adoption process begins!

For the last several weeks, Dustin and I have anxiously awaited our upcoming appointment with the adoption agency we chose, and we were so thrilled to attend the session this past Saturday. We learned so much about the agency, and some of the common misconceptions about open adoption.

Our next step in the process is to attend a weekend-intensive workshop on December 16 & 17 where we will begin writing our “Dear Birthmother” letter, creating our adoption profile and learning the necessary networking tips and tricks to get our profile in circulation. In the month leading up to this workshop, Dustin and I will need to gather all of the needed documentation to gain approval to begin the home study. This documentation will include tax information, floor plans of our home, background checks, an autobiography, and letters of recommendation from several sources outside of our family, among other things. Once we’ve submitted the needed documentation and have attended our workshop, we can begin our home study. We were comforted to learn that the home study would not be as invasive as we expected. It turns out the entire home study can be completed with three interviews and one tour of our home, all of which can be conducted during the same visit.

Our social worker will submit the home study report, along with all of documents to the state who will review our request and approve us as potential adoptive parents in Texas. Upon approval, we will officially go “on the market” as a waiting family through our agency and our wait will begin.

We plan to keep our friends and family updated as we continue the process, and look forward to beginning this new journey together!

With love,

Lindsey and Dustin

You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails

Our dear family and friends,

For those that have not already been informed, Dustin and I have decided to take a different route than was originally planned on this little journey of ours to parenthood. As many of you probably know, we have undergone five failed rounds of intra-uterine insemination and have been taking the necessary steps to prepare for IVF as this year comes to an end. As an alternative, we have decided opt out of any additional treatment, and expand our family through adoption. I’ve written this blog to tell you all about how we came to this conclusion and how we plan to go about this exciting new endeavor.

Recently, on the way home from a trip to visit family in Sulphur Springs, Dustin and I talked for hours about the upcoming hurdles we’re bound to face with the more invasive approach to our infertility treatment. Our Reproductive Endocrinologist has suggested a laparoscopy be done to determine if there are any internal issues or complications that our previous tests would not have picked up. Once the laparoscopy was done, we would continue with a two month long cycle of IVF in December, followed by six weeks of progesterone injections to ensure I carry the pregnancy. While the thought of pregnancy excites me, I can’t help but feel like taking such drastic measures (medically and financially) to have a biological child is not only selfish, but irresponsible when so many children are in need of the loving home that Dustin and I are capable of providing.

While we’re both very excited to take the steps to get this process started, Dustin and I have not always been on the same page as far as adoption goes. In the months leading up to our decision, Dustin originally wanted to exhaust all chances that pregnancy could occur through IUI as the process was not very invasive and was relatively affordable, which I of course could understand. This changed however, when IVF became a part of the plan. I made the comment similar to the one above about it being selfish to bring a life into the world when so many are in need of being saved, and that was it…in an instant, he was with me on this.

The remainder of the six-hour trip was filled with conversation about how we would go about this, and if this was something we had the patience and dedication to follow through with. We wondered what kind of questions would be asked during our home study, what our friends and families would have to say, and where to start. We couldn’t wait to get home and begin researching. In the midst of all of our questions and ramblings, I remembered that just a few days before, Dustin read me a status update on Facebook that one of his old professors posted about the adoption of his son. I suggested that he send him a message whenever we got home, to see if he had any advice to offer. Instead, Dustin called him right then and there, and I was happy to hear that he was just as excited as we were to discuss our adoption plans. We met with Don the following Saturday and were both intrigued and inspired by his story… this made us even more excited to get started.

 Just over the last few weeks, as we have shared our decision to adopt with close friends and family, we have been put in contact with several adoptive parents who seem so eager to share their story and help us get started on our journey to parenthood. So far, everyone has been more than helpful, and we’ve recognized that there is an entire community of adoptive families that we cannot wait to become a part of. We can only imagine the memories and friendships that will soon blossom as a result of our choice to adopt, and are anxious to fill all of you in every step of the way. 

With love,
Dustin & Lindsey Hebert